For the many people who know me, marrying hubby came as a surprise. I guess they didn't expect I'd get along with someone like him. Back in high school and college, I was known to prefer guys who were expressive - verbally and otherwise. I just thought I'd be bored to death if paired with someone who was quiet and reserved.
It must've been quite a shock to everyone when I married the anti-thesis of my ideal man. In many ways, hubby is my complete opposite. I'm the type of person who can't survive half an hour without talking with someone whereas he could go on his own for the whole day without talking at all. I can easily talk to people and befriend them while hubby has a difficult time approaching people. I love surprises and surprising people. I make occasions like birthdays and anniversaries truly special - preparing for them months or weeks before. I carefully orchestrate the day, from the stroke of midnight until late at night. Even gifts were personally wrapped and prepared by me. I rarely forget birthdays and would often greet family and friends thru e-cards or SMS.
Hubby is the opposite - though he knows birthdays and anniversaries are special days, he doesn't really consider them as "the world will have to stop today day". He doesn't care to prepare ahead for these days and similar occasions. His belief is that every single day should be considered a special day. He shows his love and concern not so much with material gifts but gifts of himself - his time, patience and effort. Early in our married life, I felt some resentment toward him because of this. I would envy my friends whose husbands sent them elaborate floral arrangements on special occasions or would save up some money to buy them jewelry or some expensive bag or scent.
It took me a couple of years to understand and accept his way of loving and his own expression of thoughtfulness. It wasn't with how expensive the gift was or how big the bouquet was. For him, making each day easier for me was his way of showing his love. I work at night teaching English online. Hubby is the one who takes care of the kids at night and most of the time he's the one who prepares them for bedtime. Mealtimes are a riot at home with my 18-month old wanting to feed herself (with much mess of course!). She would usually cling to Daddy and make it difficult for him to enjoy his meal. Hubby, of course, doesn't mind. This has been his role ever since our firstborn was a toddler. He would sacrifice enjoyment of his meal so that I could have mine in peace and with much fanfare. You see, I'm the type of person who savors mealtimes - from choosing the food, preparation and eating. Hubby shows his love by respecting this and making sure I enjoy every morsel and bite.
My husband is not the type who would buy me jewels and expensive stuff. For one, it's not within our income and those are not a priority. What he is serious about though, are the ones that would give us lasting security, like our own home or a small business and the children's education.
Over the years, I've come to appreciate this side of him. No, he is not an ideal man, based on the usual romantic barometers of a typical female. He is NOT my ideal man, having shattered those ideals out the window years ago. But he is my man, my equal in every sense of the word, a true partner in many ways.
He is far from perfect, as I am. We are both works in progress, trying to better ourselves every single day. But he is my match...I don't think I would've lasted with anyone else. Hubby knows me, inside and out and loves me despite my many quirks. So, for Mother's Day tomorrow, I lovingly greet my husband a "Happy Mother's Day!!!" for sharing the role of mother with me in raising our kids.